4 Ways to Support a Grieving Spouse


When your spouse is grieving the death of a loved one, it can be difficult to find ways to

support them. At Farenga Funeral Home, we walk a lot of our neighbors in Queens and

Astoria through grief, and many of these individuals have a spouse moving through this

journey alongside them. We want every couple to know that being there for their spouse in

the midst of intense grief is something that takes understanding, patience, and effort. To

help our families dealing with the loss of a loved one, here are 4 ways to support a grieving



  1. Be a shoulder to cry on.


When you’re grieving a close friend or family member, tears can arise out of nowhere. This isn’t necessarily a negative thing—crying allows for a cathartic emotional release, especially during intense grief. Encourage your spouse to cry whenever they feel like it and let them know that they are supported no matter how many tears they shed.


  1. Embrace the silence.


At times grieving a loved one can feel isolating and lonely. Your spouse may wish to spend more hours alone or in silence than usual. Try to accommodate this change and suggest quiet activities the two of you might do together, like taking long walks in nature or going to see a lighthearted film at the cinema.


  1. Accept the unpredictability of grief.


If your spouse is struggling with deep grief, you likely want them to feel better as soon as possible. One of the undeniable aspects of grief, however, is its uncertain timeline. There’s no way to predict when someone will start to feel better after losing a loved one. Do your best not to put a timeline on your partner’s grief and try to take things a day at a time. You may be surprised that once you relax expectations, you start to notice both you and your spouse feel more at ease.


  1. Encourage your spouse’s self-care.


It’s especially easy to neglect our own self-care when we’re grieving. If you notice your spouse struggling in this area, try making gentle suggestions to get regular exercise or eat healthy foods. Supporting their self-care doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Perhaps it’s simply running a warm bath for them or putting fresh flowers on their desk at work or at home.


At our funeral home, we have a variety of grief recovery resources available to families living in Greater Queens and the surrounding area. Contact our compassionate staff to learn more.