Our Loved One Said No Funeral, But Our Family Disagrees . . .

It happens more often than you might think. Astoria families tell Farenga Funeral Home owner Gus Antonopoulos and our staff that their loved one did not want a funeral or memorial service – but the family prefers otherwise. As a result, families are left wondering, “Should we honor those wishes and not have any kind of final farewell? Or perhaps host something small and private? Or go ahead with a funeral regardless of our loved one’s preferences?”

Planning a funeral can be complicated and emotionally charged even when everyone is on the same page. So you can imagine the conflicts that can occur after a loved one’s death when opinions differ. Truth be told, there is no cut-and-dried solution or one-size-fits-all answer. But our professional team has a few suggestions for those of you who are struggling with knowing your loved one made this request.

Farenga-Celebration of LifeFarenga has been family owned and operated since opening its doors in 1876, and that gives us a unique perspective on the impact and significance of funerals. We know the pivotal and highly meaningful role a service plays in the grieving process. Ceremony marks every transition in life: weddings, baptisms, graduations, and funerals. It’s crucial to gather together to recognize the importance of the life that has been lived. But doing so can look different for different families.

For example, instead of arranging a traditional, religious funeral, we could design a humanistic service. You can have a visitation where family and friends can offer support, or forego a visitation and instead host a celebration of life offering a personalized look into an individual’s passions, accomplishments, and personality.

With our wealth of knowledge and experience, we can help families create a final tribute that genuinely reflects their loved one’s personal preferences and the life that has been lived. This might mean featuring a song, poem, or Scripture passage that was a favorite. We’ve helped families create photo tributes for a loved one who took every opportunity to capture special events “on film.” Really, the options are endless, and we have countless creative ideas we’re happy to share.

The bottom line is that families draw comfort from gathering together with others whose lives were touched by the person who died. Our team can work with your family to design the tribute you need to bring healing. Reach out to us and we’ll help you figure out your next step during this difficult time.