Condolences for Kate Toic

Ivana posted on 6/5/19

We both fell asleep at the same time that night, but I woke up on earth, and you woke up in heaven. I believe there is an even sweeter place for people like you to rest your head, though. A step above heaven. It doesn’t matter how old they are, or how much morphine was pumped into them so they wouldn’t feel any pain. Knowing these things will never make it any easier to cope. It always leaves a hole in our hearts, and then you realize how whole they made you to begin with. There’s no greater love, and she taught me how to love hard. She showed all of us what real love is. What really caring for people means. I vacuumed and cleaned the house this morning because now I know you can see all the dust and dirt everywhere. Now you’ll know why I never had a boyfriend, either. I got your wedding band resized today to fit my left middle finger because that’s where you wore it. I sifted through photos all night to figure it out. You didn’t like how fluffy my Japanese milk bread turns out so maybe I’ll stick to regular loafs for now. She yelled at me every morning when she would see how much water I drank after I woke up. She really only drank milk and coffee. I just imagine her fridge in heaven is stocked with the freshest whole milk, cream cheese, white bread, milk chocolate, crackers, cookies, and fruit cups. Maybe some applesauce. She would sit in front of the door staring outside and laugh at the squirrels chasing each other. Sometimes I’d ask her what she was thinking about and all she would say is, “I’m praying for everybody.” She loved watching Beat Bobby Flay and Jeopardy. She was also the ultimate gossip queen. The queen of twisting stories and being really dramatic about it. Now I know where I get it from. I also know where I get my gap from now, too. And who better than you. You became even more beautiful with age, and the most photogenic of us all. Baba, you left this earth fighting till the very end. And I will do everything I can to do the same. I’ll miss giving you haircuts and blow drying your hair. The occasional shower I would give you, and how we would laugh because of how the roles reversed. Our love is sacred.


meg, sascha and scott posted on 6/5/19

Dear Z, We were so sorry to hear this news and we are thinking of you.


Laurie Butler posted on 6/4/19

So sorry for your loss. With deepest sympathy, Laurie